Close to you
by JammyWammy
Summary: Tifa has a secret habit she wouldn't dare to show anyone, but what if Cloud caught her doing it? How will he react over it?


In the midst of a small camp, a group of travellers rested for the day after hours of walking. They were huddled together while they surrounded a fire enough to keep them warm from the chilly night air. A foul mouthed Cid animately conversed with a beaming Barret, both of them laughing once in a while as they talked, Yuffie kept on annoying a stoic looking Vincent by caressing his hair and telling him how smooth it was. Red XIII just listened to his comrades while he stared at the fire as he laid down on the ground. Cait Sith snoozing away while being craddled by his gaint mechanical moogle, while Aeris and Cloud sat side by side, talking and from time to time, laughing.

Tifa secretly watched the exchange without being caught as she sat across from them, the crackle of the fire muffling their conversation.

 _I could never make him laugh like that..._ She thought bitterly. She sighed as shifted her gaze towards the fire when she saw Aeris playfully smack Cloud's fore arm and rested it there. She showed no sign of being affected and hurt for she kept smiling and laughing along Cid and Barret, who were sitting beside her. But the more she stared at the fire, the more she remembered how her hometown burned to the ground, losing everyone she loved, including her father. Her breathing suddenly felt heavy and she realized that she couldn't take it anymore. So grabbed her dufflebag and started rummaging through it, when she found what she was looking for, she excused herself from the older men and stood up.

"Where ya goin' girl?" Barret suddenly asked and it caught Cloud's attention, but she didn't notice.

"I'll just be out there, I'll be back soon." She said, reassuringly. The older men nodded hesitantly but agreed anyway. Cloud eyed his childhood friend with curious eyes as she started pocketing something while she left. When she disappeared behind the bushes, he didn't took his eyes where she had gone.

And he knew that something was wrong.

Tifa found a perfect spot to sit, away from the group she called friends. She stared in awe at the view in front of her and couldn't help but smile. It was a river that was surrounded by wild flowers,but what made it special were the fireflies scattered around it.

"So beautiful..." She looked to her left and found a huge rock she can sit on, so she approached it and sat over it and once again, she admired the view with a beautiful smile on her face. She started getting something from her pocket without taking her eyes off the scene. She retrieved a small white pack and a lighter, she opened her pack and grabbed a stick from it, started lighting it then she inhaled and exhaled the smoke with a sigh.

Tifa had developed this secret habit since the fall of Nibelheim, resulting in her moving to the Midgar slums where her martial arts teacher, Zangan, had left her alone. She lived in the streets for a while before Barret found her. For her, it helps her calm down whenever she would have a panic attack because of her trauma. But no one from her team of travellers knows about this secret habit of hers. She inhaled again and slowly exhaled the smoke into the air, some of it disrupting a couple of fireflies that was coming in front of her, she smiled and felt sorry for them. Then she started thinking again, why was she there in the first place. Why was she secluding herself once again, and having a smoke in the middle of this wonderful view. Then she remembered, Nibelheim. Aeris.

Cloud.

She took another smoke as she remembered how close the pair was that night, how Aeris openly flirted with him, and how he would laugh at what she was saying. She started to bitterly compare herself from the Cetra. Sure, she knew she was not bad looking for men who came to the bar would express their admiration towards her, but the one person that she wanted her to notice, has eyes for someone else. Someone more beautiful, more lively and funny, more open to say what she wanted, unlike her, her shyness is not doing any good to her, she could never do what Aeris can do.

To tell **him** how she really felt.

 _I'm just a dumbass_. She chuckled bitterly at herself. She took another shaky smoke and decided to exhale ringlets this time. She formed her mouth into a small 'o' to start releasing the rings of smoke, she smiled to herself after she did it successfully, she playfully poked the last one in the middle until it disappeared into the air, she smiled again when it did. She was about to take another one when she was stopped by a firm grip on her wrist. She looked up to see who it was and her face twisted into shock when she saw him.

Cloud.

He stared down at her with hard eyes as he gently removed the cigarette from her fingers and killed it in the rock and threw it away. Then he suddenly pulled her up and held her into a bone crushing hug. Tifa's eyes widened at the sudden contact, she didn't hug him back immediately but after a few seconds, she snaked her arms through his waist towards his back, and rested her hands there.

"It's okay... I'm here Teef... I'm right here..." He whispered sweetly into her ear and it that's when it finally broke her, she started to silently cry unto his sweater, she trembled as she did, but Cloud just clung to her and comforted her, and he would not let her go.

"It will be okay now..." He whispered lovingly to her again and she nodded her head. But what she was thinking contradicted what she really felt.

 _No, it will never be okay..._

* * *

 **Cloud's POV**

We decided to rest for the night after hours of walking, we set up camp while the others started the fire, it was cold after all and the last thing we want is someone getting sick when we were out on the road. Everyone settled themselves around it and just talked to each other. Aeris sat beside me and began animately telling me stories, silly stories and the way she was telling me was making me laugh. From time to time, I would glance in the person across from me, who was laughing at the conversation of Cid and Barret. But it worried me, because as soon as she had finished laughing, her smile would always disappear suddenly and will be replaced by what looked like worry, anxiety, sorrow.

Loneliness.

I wanted to go to her, but Aeris kept talking and I didn't want to offend her by suddenly walking out on her. So I couldn't get to Tifa. After a while, she started runnaging through her duffle bag to get something that I couldn't see, then she excused herself from the reluctant Cid and Barret. It worried me because, she had been doing that recently, isolating herself all of a sudden then coming back after a while, a little paler than usual, and she would smell different.

Like smoke.

When she disappeared into those bushes, I decided to follow her so I excused myself as well, and told Aeris that my bladder is about to give out, so she wouldn't object or follow me. So she let me. I hurriedly went after Tifa from where she disappeared, when I finally caught up with her, I didn't show myself and hust watched her as she stared in awe at the wonderful spot she had found. She settled herself in a rock after a while, then she started retrieving an item from her pocket. My eyes widened when she suddenly flicked a lighter to light up the cigarette that she placed in her lips. I never knew she smoked, but that explains the smokey scent she's giving off after disappearing everytime. She inhaled the first one and released it with a sigh. That's when I knew that was really something bothering her. She started to lower her head to stare at the ground. She's thinking about something and it worries me. Tifa has never been the one to mope, she had always been strong, confident, smiling. But this scene in front of me tells me otherwise, now I know that her happy and strong facade is just a mask for something else. This sorrowful and lonely woman in front of me is probably the real one that she wouldn't dare to show, even if her life would depend on it.

She took a shaky smoke once again, I could clearly see how she shook as she lifted her hand to place the cigarette in her mouth. I wanted to go to her but at the same time, I wanted to see more of her, the real her. She suddenly did a trick with her smoke, she released ringlets with it and sniled beautifully when she did. She even poked the last one until it disappeared, she would laugh because of it, but that laughter, she didn't mean it, I know.

I know that now.

I couldn't watch her anymore, so before she could take another smoke, I hurriedly went over to her to stop her, I took her by surprise when I grabbed her wrist, gently removed the cigarette from her fingers, killed it by the rock she was sitting at then I threw it away. I couldn't help myself anymore, so I just pulled her up to hug her tight, she needed it, and she had always done this to me, comforting me, and now its my turn, to make her feel that she's not alone, that I'm always here for her. And I hope that from this simple gesture, I could convey to her what I really felt for her.

That I have always loved her.

* * *

They went back to the camp after a while, but before Tifa grabbed something from her pocket and threw it away un the river. She looked at Cloud who smiled at her approvingly, and she smiled back.

"I guess I won't be needing those anymore?" She asked quietly. He nodded his head.

"Not anymore." He answered back before he grabbed her hand, then lead her back to their camp, their fingers intertwined together, never wanting to let go.


End file.
